Ban Bob Costas from Owning Hand Guns

The media only seem to call for hand gun bans when there is a high profile murder, especially involving celebrities. Costas now wants to ban hand guns in the wake of a murder suicide-committed by an NFL linebacker named Jovan Belcher. So if famous people like Bob Costas are successfully prohibited from owning hand guns, there would presumably be fewer shootings among them, and the media will not be so eager to ban hand guns.

Another solution is to ban people. As long as the implicit goal is to prevent all hand gun deaths, banning people would be more efficient than banning hand guns because it is more difficult to hide a human than conceal a hand gun. Also, there are far fewer murders per square mile where there are fewer people. Absurd goals deserve absurd solutions.

"Snow Shovel Ready"

A poem dedicated to Santa Keynes' idea that refilling a ditch can be an economic good.

There's economic stimuli
Falling from the sky!
It's white and fluffy
and better than dirty stuff
It's totally shovel ready
but not quite so heavy!

A Fecal Point in Sestak Campaign

"In the ad, Sestak compares cleaning up after his family dog Belle to cleaning up the economic mess that he says his GOP rival Pat Toomey and former President George W. Bush played a big part in creating."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/26/AR2010102600740.html

Emperor Palpatine Endorses Burqa

Recently in the news, controversy has abounded about the bizarre garmets worn by certain Mohammedan women. Sources close to the Obscure Lure have revealed that Emperor Palpatine has lent his support for the wearing of the bed-sheet, even mandating that his Royal Guardsmen wear them.

A Lure Correspondent weighed in: "At least Palpatine's idea of a Burqa sort of looks cool."

The Cancer Racket: Oh the Irony!

A cancer survivor once asked: "These people are always asking for donations. Where does all the money go?

Answer: The cancer racket sets aside the donated money for the making of cancer rackets for the advertising of the cancer racket which then issues more cancer rackets and hence the vicious cycle continues ad infinitum. In others words, the money goes down the rabbit hole.